Gideon was different. He didn't point and make eye contact in the same ways as a baby. He didn't really start talking clearly until almost age four. He's not very adaptable.
He also surprises us all the time. Our girls like to learn things from people and show off what they have learned. Gideon likes to learn on his own time and doesn't feel the need to necessarily show it off at all. We "accidentally" discovered he could read the entire alphabet at age two (a time when we understood very little of his speech). He had played alphabet games online and taught himself!
My son has auditory processing disorder. I grew up in classes with words like "gifted" and "talented" so I didn't come with an innate understanding of special needs. It's easy for me to see his limitless potential. He's good at so many things I know the sky is the limit for him. But I am learning how to have reasonable expectations. Just because my oldest daughter can understand certain links between cause and effect, action and consequences, it doesn't mean my son will...even if I only try harder. Some things have to happen in their right time.
So, that is my long introduction to a few proud Dad moments I had in Disneyland last week. The first was Gideon volunteering and getting picked to "wake up" the animatronic Jose in the Enchanted Tiki Room. He listened to ALL the directions and said his line loud and clear in front of the whole room. My wife and I almost cried because it was so special to see him, almost five, doing things we were not sure he would ever be ready for just one short year ago. I think recognizing and celebrating milestones or landmarks in your life should happen a lot more than it does. I feel that way as a boss and a teacher too, but especially in my family.
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| He only wanted a "backside" photo! |
And then we discovered Vinylmation. First my oldest girl got three. Then the fairness card came out, and Gideon got three as well. He loves "guys". If nothing else is available, marker caps make the best "guys". I have untold number of dried up markers that have lost their caps to imaginative play. No day is complete without his little bit of solitude where his play men can put on pretend game shows, obstacles course, or just act out his day. It's a little way he connects with his thoughts and experiences and its very personal to him. Most of the time he doesn't want anyone to play along with him and his guys.
I think that its part of his emotional learning time, when he can reflect and deal with his experiences much like he taught himself the alphabet. As a parent I can't necessarily "teach" him during those moments. I can only give him tools.
Sometimes those tools are vinyl Muppets and monsters so he can sit at the dinner table and have his bit of "routine" even when he is away from the comforts of home. I love new experiences so it is easy for me to forget how important the little comforts of "normal" are to others sometimes; those controlled, ordinary moments can make his whole day better. The little guy is starting kindergarten tomorrow (and my oldest is going into fifth grade, which is perhaps the ONLY thing in my life that makes me feel a bit old). Letting him grow up is hard because I love him so much and I love the time I have had with him, and never want to let it go. I know that there are many more good new memories to come, but childhood is so special to me.
So...we ended up with thirteen vinylmation characters this trip. The baby wanted to play like the big kids' toys so Gideon very maturely asked to help buy her one too. Of course, about an hour later he adopted it himself, but its the thought that counts when you are four, right? We traded characters, we discovered something new, and we had fun together.
And I have been reflecting on how I can give other tools based on their needs so that they can be successful and thus not as dependent on me. I love to read, so I love to train employees by passing on articles; but there are some of my staff members that do not reap the benefits from that at all. Therefore, peer observations is a new tool we are implementing as part of our ongoing staff development. My recent read "Disney U" has inspired me to review my business training programs.
My son, though, has taught me not just to believe in people, not just encourage them, but to see their needs and provide for them. And to be surprised because sometimes things you never see coming, a moment of growth, may just pop up and make you cry.
Oh, and I learned that toys are fun. Never leave home without them!!
