Toys!

My son Gideon has been such a revelation to me.  My two girls are smart and articulate, opinionated, passionate and charming.  They talked early and often and win people's attention all the time.
Gideon was different.  He didn't point and make eye contact in the same ways as a baby.  He didn't really start talking clearly until almost age four.  He's not very adaptable.
He also surprises us all the time.  Our girls like to learn things from people and show off what they have learned.  Gideon likes to learn on his own time and doesn't feel the need to necessarily show it off at all.  We "accidentally" discovered he could read the entire alphabet at age two (a time when we understood very little of his speech).  He had played alphabet games online and taught himself!
My son has auditory processing disorder.  I grew up in classes with words like "gifted" and "talented" so I didn't come with an innate understanding of special needs.  It's easy for me to see his limitless potential.  He's good at so many things I know the sky is the limit for him.  But I am learning how to have reasonable expectations.  Just because my oldest daughter can understand certain links between cause and effect, action and consequences, it doesn't mean my son will...even if I only try harder.  Some things have to happen in their right time.
So, that is my long introduction to a few proud Dad moments I had in Disneyland last week.  The first was Gideon volunteering and getting picked to "wake up" the animatronic Jose in the Enchanted Tiki Room.  He listened to ALL the directions and said his line loud and clear in front of the whole room.  My wife and I almost cried because it was so special to see him, almost five, doing things we were not sure he would ever be ready for just one short year ago.  I think recognizing and celebrating milestones or landmarks in your life should happen a lot more than it does.  I feel that way as a boss and a teacher too, but especially in my family.

He only wanted a "backside" photo!

And then we discovered Vinylmation.  First my oldest girl got three.  Then the fairness card came out, and Gideon got three as well.  He loves "guys".  If nothing else is available, marker caps make the best "guys".  I have untold number of dried up markers that have lost their caps to imaginative play.  No day is complete without his little bit of solitude where his play men can put on pretend game shows, obstacles course, or just act out his day.  It's a little way he connects with his thoughts and experiences and its very personal to him.  Most of the time he doesn't want anyone to play along with him and his guys.
I think that its part of his emotional learning time, when he can reflect and deal with his experiences much like he taught himself the alphabet.  As a parent I can't necessarily "teach" him during those moments.  I can only give him tools.
Sometimes those tools are vinyl Muppets and monsters so he can sit at the dinner table and have his bit of "routine" even when he is away from the comforts of home.  I love new experiences so it is easy for me to forget how important the little comforts of "normal" are to others sometimes; those controlled, ordinary moments can make his whole day better.  The little guy is starting kindergarten tomorrow (and my oldest is going into fifth grade, which is perhaps the ONLY thing in my life that makes me feel a bit old).  Letting him grow up is hard because I love him so much and I love the time I have had with him, and never want to let it go.  I know that there are many more good new memories to come, but childhood is so special to me.
So...we ended up with thirteen vinylmation characters this trip.  The baby wanted to play like the big kids' toys so Gideon very maturely asked to help buy her one too.  Of course, about an hour later he adopted it himself, but its the thought that counts when you are four, right?  We traded characters, we discovered something new, and we had fun together.
And I have been reflecting on how I can give other tools based on their needs so that they can be successful and thus not as dependent on me.  I love to read, so I love to train employees by passing on articles; but there are some of my staff members that do not reap the benefits from that at all.  Therefore, peer observations is a new tool we are implementing as part of our ongoing staff development.  My recent read "Disney U" has inspired me to review my business training programs.
My son, though, has taught me not just to believe in people, not just encourage them, but to see their needs and provide for them.  And to be surprised because sometimes things you never see coming, a moment of growth, may just pop up and make you cry.
Oh, and I learned that toys are fun.  Never leave home without them!!

Merida

I have a lot of favorite Pixar characters: Dory, Mater, Woody, Mike Wazowski (I kind of go for the "side-kicks", they have more fun and are secretly just as heroic as the heroes).  My all-time favorite is easy because she is my daughter.
Growing up there was a running joke in my family about the comic strip "Drabble."  The outlandish father figure Ralph said and did some of the silliest things.  The funny thing was that about once a week Drabble would feature something my father had actually done in real life.  I swear the artist somehow spied on my family for inspiration.
But that's nothing compared to the character of Merida in "Brave" and my Abyee Joe.  Of course there is the flowing head of curly red hair thanks to her Irish roots.  My son actually called the character Abyee when we first saw the movie she looks so similar.  Beyond the hair, though, the story is her story.
My Abyee is a fireball of passion.  She is independent and opinionated.  Often loud.  She is my princess and I have such a soft spot in my heart for her.  She has fearless and crazy younger siblings.  You might argue she lives in a castle.  Her mother wants more than anything to raise her as a good person.  And they butt heads, but at the end of the day she is deeply committed to us as her family.
Pixar, well done creating a story without a prince.  Coming of age stories are often about going out into the world and finding someone or something out there.  In reality, I think there is something so much more significant about finding that thing that is already within you.
It's like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and her ruby slippers.  (For a TED talk about this I really enjoyed see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueOqYebVhtc&noredirect=1).  I have seen too many people out looking for the thing that will make them happy or successful...and blaming the outside world if they don't have it.  We teach Abyee that she, even at age 9, cannot see herself as a victim or her circumstances.  Every day we talk about focusing on the positive things in her life.  In other words, she has everything she needs for happiness if she will open her eyes to it.
That makes Merida strong and brave.  She doesn't need an army to come out a winner.  Instead she brings people together with respect and appreciation.  I am proud to say I see that in my Abyee as well.  Last school year, she started a new school six weeks before the end of the school year, so when school started last week she was brave enough to "adopt" the new girl in her class to show her around and help her out.  She was standing up for someone else.
Yes, Merida, you may always be my favorite.  I know that Pixar will come out with more amazing characters in the future but that girl, and her journey, her courage, and her love for her family get me every time.
I love you, Abyee.  You make me proud.

My addict baby

Our baby, Molly Mae, is addicted to Minnie Mouse.  I'm not joking.
I show people videos on my cell phone of Molly taking photos or at restaurants with Minnie Mouse and she won't let her go.  We first discovered this at Goofy's Kitchen when she was about ten months old.  After her loving visit with Minnie she discovered the character was still in the restaurant but circulating at...OTHER TABLES.  She started yelling across the whole place for Minnie to come back.
We took her back when she turned one.  The addiction only grew and because she was starting to walk, she could stand on her own, which meant she went after her own long hugs.  LOOOONG hugs.
Now she is almost 14 months.  And people don't believe me until I pull out ANYTHING with Minnie on it (her bottle, her shoes, her dress, her bed set, lets just say I always have at least one option within arm's reach) and she instantly gives it a kiss and starts to talk with her.  I probably have close to a hundred photos of Molly and Minnie together now.

Why I am telling you this?  Because I think good characters matter.  They make us happy.  They teach us things.  Disneyland without Minnie Mouse (and to be fair, Chip, Dale, Pooh, Tigger and Mickey are all in the superhero class, but Minnie is the queen) is fun, but not the same experience.  I love to use characters while teaching.  The simple addition of a lovable character makes the lesson feel so much more important, more fun, and more real.  They are the proverbial "spoonful of sugar."  Or as one of my favorite authors Ron Clark writes, "If students love your classroom they will enjoy the content you are teaching."  I think Ron Clark has become a "character" in his own right.  I keep trying to pick my own favorite Disney character.  For now it is Mickey Mouse, because he started it all.  He is the legacy.
I love that Pixar is full of life size sculptures of their film characters.  They are "real" to me the same way they are real to my baby.  They are important.  Maybe her addiction is my fault.  If it is, I am certainly not going to try to cure her any time soon.